Hi
my long term partner, i have just found out that he has cheated on me with another guy, he said that he has had anal sex (protected) and oral sex both ways (unprotected)

i would like to know what are my risks,??
me and my partner always practice safe sex with each other, we always use condoms for anal, and oral sex,

occasionally he fingers me, and we French kiss

so i would like to know -

1. is there any risk of me getting any STDS from kissing if so what can these be?

2. do you think im at any risk from hiv, as i always practice safe sex, anal and oral (always using condoms)

3. would there have been any risk from the fingering from him? and type of stds?

[Dr Sean]

Hello

Welcome to the Forum. Sorry to hear about your troubles.


You asked:-

1. is there any risk of me getting any STDS from kissing if so what can these be? very very unlikely - if for example he had contracted syphilis and had a syphlitic lesion on his lip or in the first part of his mouth then that could be a problem - unlikely though

2. do you think im at any risk from hiv, as i always practice safe sex, anal and oral (always using condoms)no - I don't but I think given that you and he always use condoms for all sorts of sex I'd want to know about why he thought it was a good idea to have unprotected oral with another

3. would there have been any risk from the fingering from him? and type of stds?
no, again, I don't think so. obviously if you're concerned then the thing to do is to test but I do think it unlikely.

Sorry you're in this pickle,

best wishes, Sean

Hi
We have always used condoms for sex and oral cause I just like to be safe even though
I trusted him but now I don't cause what he has done, he wants be back but I don't know what to do
He said it was a stupid mistake
But I don't know if he as had unprotected anal sex he said he has done it safe apart from the oral sex,


So in all what I've told you do u think I need an HIV test or is it not necessary
Many thanks

Hi
He said he did it cause I won't let him do oral on me unprotected cause I worry
That if he did go a stray then he did unprotected oral on me I could get HIV or an STD if he went behind my back
So that's why I always do protected it's a big deal for him he says he wants to do oral se on me un protected but I feel uncomfortable about this cause I'm worried of getting an STD or HIV from receiving un protected oral sex

My head is messed up he says he won't do it again and he wants me to have him back but I don't know what to do!

hi

1 can i ask if i did receive oral sex from my long term partner, (unprotected) is there any risk of HIV? if he did stray again???

2. for my question 2 you said there is no risk from Hiv but you wanted to know WHY did he go off and do upprotected oral sex on another guy, i maybe able to answer this is becuase i wlays do it protected so if i let him do oral sex on me would i be safe unprotected against hiv?

3. and there is deffo no risk from fingering??

many thanks

[Dr Sean]

Hello

Lots more questions:-

1 can i ask if i did receive oral sex from my long term partner, (unprotected) is there any risk of HIV? if he did stray again??? You are not at risk of picking up HIV from your partner through being sucked = receiving oral sex. You may be at risk of picking up other STD's by being sucked - please see our STD testing pages

2. for my question 2 you said there is no risk from Hiv but you wanted to know WHY did he go off and do upprotected oral sex on another guy, i maybe able to answer this is becuase i wlays do it protected so if i let him do oral sex on me would i be safe unprotected against hiv? no - I didn't want to know - I suggested that you might want to know - as I have said above - you will not be at risk of HIV is he sucks you even if he does have HIV. The possibilities of you picking up HIV if you suck him and he cums in your mouth are tiny but there are some reported cases in the literature. The amount of virus in the body is very large at the onset of HIV disease so if he were to be newly infected the the amount of virus in his cum will be high and that might - note the use of the word "might" increase your risk

3. and there is deffo no risk from fingering??no sir, no HIV risk - you can see our HIV and Fingering video here

best regards, Sean