On 3 January I oral (insertive and receptive) and anal (insertive) had sex with a male CSW. It was all protected except for the oral which involved ejaculation into my mouth.
60 hours later I went to my local GUM clinic to explain what had happened. They showed me a matrix that suggested in this instance PEP was 'considered'. I asked the doctor if there was any long term side of effects PEP and he definitively said no. Based on this I decided to take it because I thought better to be safe than sorry.
While on the PEP (Truvada + Kaletra) I did more and more research into the risks I had taken and concluded they were so small I shouldn't have taken PEP in the first place. Then when I began to research PEP I found more and more articles saying that the long term side effects of PEP in HIV negative people are unknown and and the potential for delayed toxicity (oncogenic/teratogenic) is also unknown. I can only assume this is because PEP interferes with the cells.
After finding this out I stopped taking the PEP after 18 days. I have now had a gen 3 rapid HIV test 6 weeks after stopping the PEP which is 9 weeks after the exposure and the result was negative. I have to test again in another 6 weeks but I am confident that considering I don't know if the CSW was positive, the low risk of oral transmission, 18 days of PEP and a negative result after 6 weeks post PEP the chance of me becoming positive now is infinitesimal. I'm sure you will agree?
Now the issue for me which is making me feel very very depressed and hopeless all the time is the thought of what permanent damage I have done to my body by taking these poisons toxic chemicals unnecessarily. I know that the short term side effects are reversible but the thought I have done something irreversible such as damage to some dna which could manifest into cancer in decades to come (I presume this is what is meant by delayed oncogenic toxicity) is like a cloud on top of me that I don't ever see a way of dissipating. It is so upsetting because I have always looked after my body so well and taking the PEP was completely unnecessary. I think it is safe to assume that whoever has written about PEP's potential delayed toxicity obviously knows what they are taking about, so no matter what evidence there is, I will never be able to be given 100% reassurance that this hasn't happened. I'm also not happy that this information does not seem to be well communicated to PEP takers - it would have made a big difference to me and I would not have taken it.
I think I am correct in what I have concluded but as I am not a doctor I'd be interested in your opinion. I feel that this mistake (taking the PEP) will haunt me the rest of my life, I just don't see how I'll ever have pece of mind again knowing what I know now.
Shall I tell you what I really think or gloss over it and be nicey nicey?
I think your post is self-indulgent whining nonsense. You took a risk with a sex worker which you later regretted. This was entirely your responsibility - no one else's.
You went along to a service which is desperately pressured and underfunded and by the sound of things were given excellent advice and also a course of state of the art and very expensive medicine, all because of your behaviour.
Now, you've decided to have a different worry and imply that you were misdirected and may have been poisoned. What complete absolute utter rubbish. You had excellent service from a cash strapped NHS in response to an episode you could have avoided / averted.
Everything has a potential later risk - everything - sex (which you embraced) allowing sex workers to ejaculate into your mouth ( which you did) as well as taking PEP. I reject completely the possibility that you have been done long term damage.
I accept full responsibility for for my stupidity. It was the first time I had slept with a man and I just didn't know then what I know now. I have only myself to blame, no one else.
I agree that I had excellent service from the Doctor at the GUM clinic and do not blame him for anything. He didn't tell me what to do but just gave me the options available. I know they are cash strapped but I have rarely used any NHS service.
My only point was that on all the literature you are provided in the GUM clinic regarding PEP and on various official website e.g. THT, they do not refer to the possibility of long term side effects whereas they seem to be referred to quite a bit over the rest of the internet. I just wanted your opinion on whether long term side effects i.e. potential for delayed oncogenic toxicity is a possibility and if not why is it cited so frequently.
The simple fact is that yes, the PEP medicines may be poisonous, but you know what?.... having HIV for 20 or 30 or 40 years is not a picnic and is far far worse than any imagined side effect you may get long term from taking one months PEP.
I really don't buy your argument in any shape or form. My long term HIV positive patients have had catastrophic illness in multiple forms over many years. Doing anything to avoid that is an absolute imperative especially when in my opinion, the long term consequences are near zero.
Long Term PEP Side Effects
Linear Mode
