I am a 40 year old man residing in London. I have never had any extra-marital sex in my life. Unfortunately 7 weeks back I had met an ex-girlfriend of mine who recently has been transferred from Singapore and works in a responsible position in an investment bank in Canary Wharf, London. She invited me to her place and we somehow did something which is morally wrong and unethical. I had protected sex with her - 100% sure no breaking of condom. But I performed cunnilingus on her and she had orgasm in my mouth. She also sucked me but I did not ejaculate. This happened on 2nd of April 2011.
After I came back home I realized and got freaked out that I may have been infected. So I called her and asked her whether she had any chance of having HIV. She was furious and she told me that she was healthy and never had any sex for the last 3 years as she had split from her husband. I believe her because I know her well. She literally got very upset and abused me over the phone.
Anyway, I kept a close watch for any early symptoms. I never had any whole body rash or even any fever/temperature throughout the last 7 weeks. I had extreme stress during the first two or three days due to anxiety. Never had any episode of flu. I suffer from allergic rhinitis and everyday I take cetrizine (over the counter) and therefore this was routine as I have been doing for the past many years. I would sneeze once or twice or have sinus/nasal blockage but that has been routine for many years. Not even for once the body temperature has been above 36.8 measured in the ears. I have routinely checked temperature everyday atleast twice. I have been working perfectly, routinely travelling on business trips in Europe, no loss of appetite or night sweat ... everything seems to be normal.
I have abstained from having sex with my wife on some context or other. She is very annoyed by my behaviour - obviously I cant say her .... I have never ever faltered in my whole life except for this time.
Dear Doc .... please advise what should I do? Though I have been less worried now but still sometimes I get very disturbed specially when I hear something on HIV on TV or read something on the newspaper.
You had an extremely low risk exposure even if she was HIV positive which she says she is not.
I'm not worried about what you've described from an HIV point of view.
As you will know if you've read other posts answered by me then I believe that if you are in a regular relationship with another person and he or she does not know that you are having sex with others outside it, then you have an obligation to be sure that you are STD free before you resume sexual relations with your partner.
In your case that means having a chlamydia and gonorrhoea test from you penis and mouth. I do not believe you were exposed to HIV but the obvious answer if you are still worrying about it is to have an HIV test to put your mind at rest. At this point you can have an HIV INSTI or an HIV duo test and they will give you certainty.
In my case (as described above) do you normally recommend a HIV test as a routine?
I have know the lady for last 11 years and she is very healthy. I believe what she says. Initially I was a bit upset for a few days but now I have come out of that situation.
As for the Chlamaydia and Gono I will certainly do the test. Thanks for your advice.
My general rule is that people who have multiple sexual partners or who have sex outside relationships without their regular partner being aware should have a full STD check including HIV testing prior to resuming sexual activity with a partner. Its a good manners approach.
Your exposure is minimal so you will need to make your own choice about it.
I've repeated a key part of my original answer here for you:-
Quote:
I do not believe you were exposed to HIV but the obvious answer if you are still worrying about it is to have an HIV test to put your mind at rest. At this point you can have an HIV INSTI or an HIV duo test and they will give you certainty.
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