How are you? I hope your well. The forums great you do a wonderful job, its very helpful to be able to get the facts from a reliable source instead of doctor mad google!!
I was wondering if you could give me some reasurance from the following senario:
Basically ive been a prize prat!! A couple of weeks ago I stupidly went to a massage parlour which is not the best thing for me too have done, since I've recently suffered with health anxiety over HIV but a bit of dutch courage can do funny things, curiosity killed the cat and all that (hopefully not this time).
I asked the girl for a massage with a happy ending (expecting this to be a hand job) but the girl took me by surprise and performed oral sex on me (finished with a hand job) without a condom, (There was no other contact at all).
Halfway through she offered me vaginal sex with a condom but i declined that offer, so im assuming she uses protection for everything else!!
Afterwards I started to panick a bit as oral sex wasnt what i'd expected and it was a bit out of my comfort zone!! The girl was british, white, early twenties and pretty much like any other girl you mite meet on a night out, well spoken and pleasant but she had quite red blotchy skin so I got a little panicked afterwards thinking this mite of been an HIV rash!!
This is my first and only instance of sexual contact since my last set of negative std and HIV tests earlier this year. Im going to get tested for chlamydia and gonorrea but im hoping not to have to go through the wait and stress of another HIV test as from what ive read on here and been told by THT this is a no risk situation as far as HIV and hepatitis are concerned and low risk for other std's. But there is so much conflicting information out there its a bit hard to know what to believe, and I'd quite like to get the opinion for myself from the experts!!
The stupid thing in all of my anxiety is Im a farmer and this means I have a 1 in 348 chance of death at work, everyday from an accident but does this worry me? No, I smoke so could get lung cancer again does this worry me? No, yet the thought of HIV scares the poop out of me and in my rational mind I know its not easy to catch!!
Im thinking that a lot of this is to do with the shame of using a sex worker as its against my sober and family morals, not what the risk from the incident was!!
So to my questions:
1) Is there a risk of HIV or hepatitis from the above event and should I get tested for them? Or as far as they are concerned can I firmly put the episode behind me?
2 I know there is a faint risk of chlamydia and Gonorrea (im going to get tested for these)
3) How likely is syphilis, I couldnt see any sores around her mouth so if I dont get a chancre would this be an issue?
The main things about the risks you have identified - ie dying in a farm accident etc are they are unfortunate but socially acceptable. HIV remains socially unacceptable for many hence the different thought process.
You will not have acquired HIV from this event - although you are correct to worry about chlamydia and gonorrhoea and you will be doing something about that anyway.
Your questions:-
1) Is there a risk of HIV or hepatitis from the above event and should I get tested for them? Or as far as they are concerned can I firmly put the episode behind me?You can forget these two issues in respect of this episode - not a risk/threat
2 I know there is a faint risk of chlamydia and Gonorrea (im going to get tested for these)correct and good
3) How likely is syphilis, I couldnt see any sores around her mouth so if I dont get a chancre would this be an issue?very unlikely indeed - rate of syphilis in female sex workers in the UK is low
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head with the social aspect and as im ashamed of the fact i used a csw that gives a double wammy I guess!!
I've just got to keep my anxiety under control as my mind tends to race and try's to find risks that are'nt there, i.e a week after the event I'd gone over it in my head so much I started thinking did she jump on me without me realising and we acctually had sex unprotected... My rational side knows this is pretty much impossible and it didnt happen (I defineatly wouldnt have walked away from the place in a calm state if it did lol) but my irrational side almost persuades me it did happen the minds a strange thing. Then i start worrying about every spot every slight sore throat (caused by smoking I know).
Is this thought process something you've encountered with patients in the past?
Anyway Im going to try and relax and put this behind me.
Many thanks again for your advice it's a great help.
Oral sex massage palour
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