Last Sunday i did something I regret:

I met up for coffee with a casual friend, Paul, at his new house which he shares with his long term boy friend, James. The 3 of us ended up having sex together. I had safe sex with Paul once before last year. The sex i had Sunday with Paul and with James was safe sex, however i didn't realise straight away that the sex they had together was unprotected. What concerned me when i did realise this, was that I had given oral sex to Paul after he had penetrated James. And also when we masturbated, they both ejaculated on my stomach and some sperm fell on my penis.

After we had sex we had a chat. Paul could see that i didn't feel comfortable and reassured me 1) they are both HIV negative and STD free and 2) that they don't have unprotected sex with any one else. I have no reason to doubt them. But true Sunday night i felt uncomfortable. I spoke with Paul again on Monday and again he was very kind and reassured me as he had in Sunday.

So I feel i have no reason to be worried. But I think because i don't really feel comfortable with the casual nature of the sex we had fact and the oral sex incident described above, i am basically beating myself up by asking myself many questions, to which i don't necessarily have the answers.

I know myself i will screen myself again for HIV and STD, probably waiting 28 days to do all together. Nevertheless in the meantime, i would appreciate your opinion, specifically about the 2 incidents above and the risks involved regardless of what Paul told me about his status and that of his boyfriend.

Thanks in advance for your kind help.

[Dr Jose]

Hello,
Thank you very much for your post.
I beleive we have discussed your case over the telephone. However I would like to reiterate what I have already said to you, that from the point of HIV, there was no risk to you even if these guys were to be positive. Performing oral sex on a HIV positive man does not involve any significant risk, other than a theoretical one, and this would only if there had been ejaculation in the mouth. However this involves other risks like throat Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea aned even Syphilis.
Regarding the semen coming into contact with your penis, that would not really be enough to have put you at risk of HIV infection either.
Therefore no need to worry.
Best wishes,
José