Firstly, this my look like a duplicate thread. My computer crashed as I was making my donation the first time. Apologies.
I am a past visitor to your clinic in London where I got a DUO test at 27 days post possible exposure. The result was negative for HIV. I realize that my result is fully final and conclusive.
However for the past week or so, I have been becoming gripped my extreme feelings of anxiety in relation to the episode. The anxiety comes in waves and episodes last for approximately 5-10 minutes at a time, numerous times per day. They are worst first thing in the morning when I wake up. I usually end up vomiting up my breakfast (sorry for being so graphic). I even caught myself looking for symptoms the last day. These episodes also at their worst at times when I'm on my own. When I'm in the company of my girlfriend, or my friends, I actually feel quite okay, and realize how silly and irrational I am being, probably because I am distracted.
However, the worrying part of this is, that during the episode, I know that my fear is irrational, in that my exposure was MINISCULE risk, if that, according to your assesment of my case (protected intercourse with an escort, unprotected cunnilingus, recieved protected oral). I know that medically, there was no need to even test, except for my own peace of mind. I know that my result at 27 days was accurate, final and conclusive. But not matter how much I lay out all these facts,the feeling will not go away. This is making me worried that some deeper mental condition may be at play, triggered by the original trauma.
I know that you must experience patients with similar symptoms regularly. What I want to ask you is :
In your opinion, are these feelings of anxiety related to guilt/anxiety about what the potential outcome might have been, or indicative of something else?
Do these feelings, in your experience with similar patients, tend to pass with time (weeks/months) or is professional intervention needed?
Would you recommend another HIV test to try and ease my irrational feelings?
I am very worried now that if I let this go on, that I will do permanent damage, mentally. At least if I didn't know my fear was irrational, there would be light at the end of the tunnel. The worst part of this is, I know perfectly well that my fear is completely unfounded.
Best regards, and thanks in advance for your advice.
Your situation is very common indeed and although you have accepted the negative test result completely on one level, in a deeper subconcious level it keeps on popping up.
You ask several questions which I have repeated beneath:-
Quote:
In your opinion, are these feelings of anxiety related to guilt/anxiety about what the potential outcome might have been, or indicative of something else? I think there are several issues. One of these is likely to be guilt but certainly another feeling is disappointment with yourself for getting into the situation in the first place. As you say, the risk was fantastically small if at all and the test itself fantastically accurate at that point so HIV itself is definitely ruled out.
Do these feelings, in your experience with similar patients, tend to pass with time (weeks/months) or is professional intervention needed? It will pass. It will be uncomfortable for a while but the memory etc will fade and the anxiousness will go.
Would you recommend another HIV test to try and ease my irrational feelings?I would try and stay away from further testing. We do have very many people who test on a regular serial basis over an inconsequential event but it does little to ease the anxiety. My strong feeling would be that you should not test again.
I hope some of that helps. If it goes on to the point of interfering further in your life then I would suggest seeing a clinical psychologist and perhaps some cognitive behaviour therapy.
Thank you Doctor Cummings. I trust you had a nice and peaceful Christmas day?
So, allow me to clarify. Am I right in thinking that what you are saying is that in laymans terms, I'm just very shaken up by the whole experience?
How long, in your experience, would it usually take for anxiety such as this to subside?. I realise that it would differ greatly from person to person.
You may be interested to know, that the feelings of anxiety are becoming at little (and I emphasize" little") less frequent and some rationality is starting to return, so hopefully this is the beginning of the end of it all.
And one final question (and I promise this is the last one!). Given that the episode occured on at approximately 11pm on Tuesday November 10th, and I tested on Monday December 7th, would you consider test day to be day 26 or day 27? Have you ever had a negative result from day 27 change into a positive at a later time?
Yes thanks, a good Christmas - and I hope for you too.
You asked:-
Quote:
So, allow me to clarify. Am I right in thinking that what you are saying is that in laymans terms, I'm just very shaken up by the whole experience? absolutely - nothing more than that but as you have discovered, a very powerful emotion.
How long, in your experience, would it usually take for anxiety such as this to subside?. I realise that it would differ greatly from person to person.I can't really answer that with confidence - sometimes just a very short period - maybe a few weeks or months but I'm afraid there are some who go on for years.....sorry
You may be interested to know, that the feelings of anxiety are becoming at little (and I emphasize" little") less frequent and some rationality is starting to return, so hopefully this is the beginning of the end of it all. Yes, thats very encouraging indeed so hopefully this will improve more rapidly
And one final question (and I promise this is the last one!). Given that the episode occured on at approximately 11pm on Tuesday November 10th, and I tested on Monday December 7th, would you consider test day to be day 26 or day 27? Have you ever had a negative result from day 27 change into a positive at a later time? Never in your circumstances.
You should leave this now and move on as best you are able. You are not HIV positive.
Thanks again for the answers Dr. Sean. I think, given all the advice, reassurance and guidance and help you have given me recently, in your clinic, on the phone and online, it's only good manners on my part, that I update you on my progress.
The anxiety is REALLY starting to subside now, which is great. It's not totally gone, but there has been a massive improvement. My moods are much better, I'm not sick in the mornings anymore and I'm really thinking rationally about the whole incident now....which can only assist in getting rid of this anxiety once and for all! I still have a few worrying thoughts in the day, but I'm now able to quench them by rationally going through the facts in my head ie: sex was protected, so many doctors (you, Dr. Jose, my GP, GUM nurses and doctors) assuring me that I was fine, having a negative test, etc etc.
I actually think that I'll be okay again soon after new year.
I think you missed the last part of my question in your last reply, but it probably makes no difference to my case anyway. Would you regard my test day as day 26 or day 27?
Need Urgent advice for my anxiety
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